I was decluttering yesterday when I came across this journal. Written more than 21 years ago (has it really been that long?!), this was in Baguio. I was in the throes of my academic challenge of reading 4-6 books every week, coming up with research papers, and synthesising ideas. I was at a crossroads in my life and ministry. I was discovering exciting theological concepts and stimulating discussion. I was enjoying every moment of it.
These journals were a way for me to slow down, contemplate and bask in the presence of Him who galvanizes, strengthens and quiets His children. I was intellectually fed. I was loving God “with my mind.” But I was also longing for an affective, deeply personal encounters with the Father- to love “with my heart.” I wrote, “Let me find pleasure in the deeper nuances of Your presence- in the subtle, simple discovery of Your truth, and Your care.”
And that prayer- after 21 years of successes, failures, mountain tops and valleys, dark nights of pain but also sun-bursts of joy, tears and laughter- remain in my heart.
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