This is a two-part musing, on my first Sunday here at Wheaton College.
The first part takes place almost 25 years ago. I was a young Christian then, but already seriously thinking of a life devoted to learning, teaching, and ministry. One of the greatest dreams of my life- that time - was to go to a school where I will get excellent academic training, exposure to ministry, and a place where I can be challenged and stretched so I can get to journey the calling the Lord had given me. There were many lofty places I have dreamed of going to study: Fuller Theological Seminary, Wheaton College, among others. Hey, I was young then and just emerging from blissful naivete. I asked the Lord. I inquired. I wrote letters. Of course I did not end up in those places.
Instead the Lord lead me to a unique theological learning, ministerial exposure, and character development that has shaped me to be where and who I am now. It has not always been easy. There were tears, but there were also laughter (lots of it), lessons (important, life-changing), people (treasures, companions). It was a good run. I hold dear these years that has passed.
I would have loved to have studied in places like Wheaton, or Fuller or similar places, but it wasn't meant to be. So be it. What I had instead was something hand-crafted and planned by the Lord Himself...
Part Two
Almost 10 years ago, something happened that brought an academic career I have loved and worked for so long to a screeching, painful halt. The details of which I have left to the Lord- but it was a convoluted series of events that involved betrayal, heartaches and broken friendships. But in the midst of that, I was certain the Lord was going to vindicate, rectify and affirm me. I was convinced the wrongs will be made right. I was shattered to a point I thought I was going to lose it, but underneath, unseen, yet unmistakeably real- the Lord was assuring me I will see it through, that I will see His comfort, and that I will see His restoration and vindication.
The following years were restorative years. The years were filled with quiet affirmations, and grace so overwhelming I am often left amazed by it all. I have found a new start in a church who took me in like their own. And yes, the Lord was faithful in fulfilling all those promises. The ministry I have now is challenging but fulfilling. I have seen the Lord affirming me; and allowing me to participate in what He is doing in that part of His kingdom. I am grateful everyday that the Lord has lead me to this church, to this ministry, to these group of people I have come to consider friends in the deepest sense of the word. This church, this is God's gift to me; and His loud proclamation of vindication. A few years back I had a chance to finally go to Fuller Theological Seminary - no longer as a student but as a visiting scholar! Because of my unique theological training, context, field of study, and background I was given the opportunity to share all these to a community eager to receive what I have to offer.
In another surprising but affirming move from the Lord, I am now here at Wheaton College- again, not as a student but as a visiting scholar who will dialogue, share, converse with those willing to learn, and be companions towards learning and effectivity in ministry. I am grateful beyond words can ever express.
The road behind wasn't a superhighway of convenience, comfort or ease. There were shattered dreams, and pain. Of course joy of the most meaningful kind abound. It is far from over, of course. We continue. We soldier on. We celebrate every step knowing they are ordained by the Lord.
There might be roadblocks, or detours, or even dead ends, but hear this, for I know this to be true and I testify to this: "Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion...Hear my prayer, Lord
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." Amen, and amen!
Comments