On My Mind

Here’s what’s on my mind: lessons to prepare, classes to plan, endless papers to read and grade, responsibilities and roles to grow into – organized clutter, methodical mayhem, and a mysterious, nameless fear with feline eyes that stare and intimidate, whose presence lurks and descends not unexpectedly and yet terrorizes with an intensity that is absurd.

Here’s what’s on my mind: I am here sitting in a chair steeped with tradition, legacy and awesome responsibility and it calls upon me to fulfill what it bestows with diligence and clarity of mind, and integrity of heart. Although I have taken it on with some sort of naiveté, the daily dose of reality keeps me grounded, with eyes wide open.

Here’s what’s on my mind: I long for an escape to a place where an emerald blanket falls across rolling fields, the fierce sun making your squint, and a wind so gentle, so soothing it feels like that moment between dreams. Can colors like these get so vivid, so bright that it can actually blind? And the taste of watermelon is ambrosia that quenches the parched souls – and the distant strains of music moves your feet to an almost desperate salsa dancing.

Here’s what’s on my mind: the clink of terra-cotta wind chimes is a lullaby, the aroma of freshly brewed Benguet coffee a heady perfume, and the feel and the rustling of crisp pages being turned in rapt wonder transports to a mimetic world of compelling cadence, strange rhythms, words dipping in and out, defining who I am and where I am.

Here’s what’s on my mind: Your hands on my cheeks, speaking words I can barely hear nor understand, and I am enveloped by the subdued energy that emanates from You, and my fevered mind and unsteady quaking subside into the gentle, quiet rhythm that is Your heartbeat. You are my primordial womb, my protection, my home. Keep me safe in the shadow of Your wings.