Everything seems to be so comfortable for you, so cozy. Life as you like it is what you have right now. There are mornings, and this is no exaggeration, when you wake up with a smile on your face – the sun streaming through your window, its warmth blanketing you with good will. You who have never been a morning person, who have never enjoyed the calm a dawn brings, find yourself somehow at peace as the new day begins. This is a big leap, for mornings used to bring dread to you –because it means another day of hassle, and pain, and trauma. You used to love evenings, because the night is calm, cool, quiet, where you can be alone with your thoughts, with your reverie, where those that are mean to you are, for the moment, in unviolent repose. But here you are, clearly enjoying the morning. Life as you like it is what you have right now.
Your cup is filled to the brim, and when you take a sip, you feel your mouth burst in sensory delights – this wine poured out for you glow as if made of light, tasting like the sunlight of eternal days, and you are happy. You feel everything about you explode in a myriad of colors, a kaleidoscope. Laughter abounds, meaning and significance define your involvements, and a deep abiding feeling of His presence mark your days. He who called you into His work is a presence of steadfast love and grace.
So here’s the question. Why does it feel like you have to leave all these? Why are there mornings when the call to be somewhere else prove to be so alluring, so strong that you once more begin to dread the day ahead? Why are there moments when you can’t wait to get out of here and be someplace else, and that this longing is so painful it is almost a physical wound? Not that this other place is better. You know that for a fact. But still, why are there moments when you seem so tender, so spongy, that everything chafes, and scratches and hurts? Why does it feel like there’s a pebble in your shoe and you can’t seem to get it out? Why this general sense of unease?
They say that when eagles make their nests, it is the most secure, the most comfortable place for the newly-hatched eaglets. The branches that make up the nest is intricately woven and fastened securely no wind, no shaking can ever dislodge it. The nest is lined with feathers shed by the parent eagles so as to make it warm, comfortable. But there will be a time when the eaglets are to leave this nest. When that time comes, the parent eagles remove the feathers, the leaves that line the nest, exposing the sharp twigs, and the prickly, uncomfortable underbelly so that the eaglets are forced to leave. Is this what the Master is doing then? Is He slowly orchestrating this holy unease? Is He slowly edging you out, saying your time here is now coming to an end, and where there used to be a place of comfort shall bring discomfort when you refuse to let go?
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