We are all beholden to something, to someone, to ourselves. We do not live in this world with complete detachment, independent or free from some sort of obligation. We belong. We are all part of this intricate web of attachments, relationships and dealings. We could not get away from it, nor should we even try unloosening whatever it is that binds us to one another.
“Possession…being owned,” the English Patient tells his lover, Katherine, is the one thing he hates the most. But the notion of not being owned, not being possessed by something, by someone, is more disturbing. It is scary to think that you are on your own – a forlorn drifter. To go through life uncommitted, unpossessed, un-owned is one of the saddest things that could ever happen to anyone. Those who value independence, and freedom, those who cut ties to be set adrift on their own cannot appreciate their true independence, and free without attachments and ties.
We crave for relationships. We long for friendships. We hunger for attachments, as if we are not and cannot be complete without others. And so we willingly offer ourselves to be beholden – to be obliged to someone. Although it is sad to admit that some of these obligations and relationships can sometimes be warped, perverted into a bitter and cruel mockery of the beauty of relationships and attachments, it remains a vital need for all of us. Wounded may we become, jaded, cynical, and yet this unfathomable desire is like a magnet that draws us, attracts us.
It is love that binds us. It makes us willing subjects. It allows us to offer ourselves to others, to a cause, to God in abject surrender. Love allows the continuous act of giving and receiving of self to others, so much so that we are in a continuing debt to love one another. We are beholden to one another. We cannot be fully human without this. And this is a good thing.
“Possession…being owned,” the English Patient tells his lover, Katherine, is the one thing he hates the most. But the notion of not being owned, not being possessed by something, by someone, is more disturbing. It is scary to think that you are on your own – a forlorn drifter. To go through life uncommitted, unpossessed, un-owned is one of the saddest things that could ever happen to anyone. Those who value independence, and freedom, those who cut ties to be set adrift on their own cannot appreciate their true independence, and free without attachments and ties.
We crave for relationships. We long for friendships. We hunger for attachments, as if we are not and cannot be complete without others. And so we willingly offer ourselves to be beholden – to be obliged to someone. Although it is sad to admit that some of these obligations and relationships can sometimes be warped, perverted into a bitter and cruel mockery of the beauty of relationships and attachments, it remains a vital need for all of us. Wounded may we become, jaded, cynical, and yet this unfathomable desire is like a magnet that draws us, attracts us.
It is love that binds us. It makes us willing subjects. It allows us to offer ourselves to others, to a cause, to God in abject surrender. Love allows the continuous act of giving and receiving of self to others, so much so that we are in a continuing debt to love one another. We are beholden to one another. We cannot be fully human without this. And this is a good thing.
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