In Awe of Mysteries

“We are all of us mystics than we believe or chose to believe...We have seen more than we let on, even to ourselves. Though some moments of beauty or pain, some subtle turning of our lives, we catch glimmers at least of what the saints were blinded by; only then, unlike the saints, we go on as though nothing has happened. To go on as though something has happened even though we are not sure what it was or just where we are supposed to go with it, is to enter the dimension of life that religion is a word for...”

Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking

“God does not die on the day when we cease to believe in a personal deity, but we die on the day when our lives cease to be illuminated by the steady radiance, renewed daily wonder, the source of which is beyond all reason.”

Dag Hammerskjold

A few years ago, along with friends, I was able to spend one memorable evening in the eastern-most portion of the Philippines, somewhere in Mati, Davao Oriental- I forget the name of the exact place, but I remember that night. We stayed at the beach house of newly-made friend –white sand, the waves of the ocean were gigantic as it was facing the open seas of the Pacific ocean, and the bluish mountains as backdrop. City folks that we were and have not gone outdoors too often, we decided to camp out. We took out our blankets to sleep on the beach that night. But I had no idea what kind of experience one can have of sleeping under the stars at that beach. I had never seen the heavens quite like that before or since. There were so many stars we felt we were covered by a blanket of diamonds. The stars were resplendent, captivating. Falling or shooting stars would magically appear and blaze a trail, and disappear. The sky was alive. For the first time in my life it really did feel like I was in the middle of the Milky Way, surrounded with stars and life.

We couldn’t help but stay awake and watch the sky. It was such a magnificent view. We talked about how these stars or planets or meteorites that seemed so close could be millions of light years away. Someone explained that many of them were already gone. Every so often, we would be struck dumb by the beauty of the stars. We would remain silent and just gaze at them. We had lain awake all night long. It was a truly “awesome” experience that has stuck with me for years now. Rudolf Otto would describe this as numinous experience, where we are awed by that which is transcendent, and elated as we are, we are struck with a creaturely feeling, of being insignificant in the midst of this greatness. We are fascinated, and yet are terrorized by the mysteries and awesome revealed to us.

We are all in need to be awed. We all could do with an awesome experience that stops us short; moments that grab you and won’t let you go; encounters that alter your perspective and experience of reality. In effect, all of life is a search for some sort of contact with that who is mysterious and beyond our human experiences. Our desires, our wants, even in the seemingly instinctual needs that drive us, we sense that behind this is the search for the awesome, for that which is mysterious. We search for that which would lift us out of the drudgery of our existence, not as an escape from dealing with the now-ness of the moment, but rather, as a reminder of who we really are- where we are going, and what we will be. To welcome such moments is to keep in touch with the Absolute Reality. It centers us. It inspires us. When we catch a glimpse of that which is truly awesome and wonderful, we are changed, transformed.

Sadly, we have become too sophisticated; we have become so jaded and so cynical find that we are not easily impressed anymore. Instead of awe, we affect a bored, done-that, been-there, seen-it look. We do not want to be embarrassed. Nothing amazes us or suprises us. We are dismissive of things that are “childlike,” and “simple.” When we do that, something sacred, something wonderful is lost.